Hit me with your best shot, fire away!

I couldn't think of what to name this blog, so one of my favorite Pat Benatar songs came to mind, particularly since its a motivating song to me when I work out at the gym.  I listen to it on my i-pod frequently and I love the part where she says..."knock me down, its all in vain, I get right back on my feet again"!  So, I thought I was finally on my feet again at work.  We've been back since Monday, though if you know a thing or two about my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and love/hate relationship with this job, you know that I've already spend a good 4 days at work, even before we were due back on Monday.  I know...I broke the resolutions I had set for myself.  BUT....the time I put in was well spent and I felt good about going back.  I spoke too soon..uh, oh, now what?

I was so happy this week.  My students were making so much progress with their spelling words, reading levels and just overall enthusiasm for being back at school.  We were setting goals and working on portfolios and even my toughest of kiddos were happy to be back.  Not to mention I have some pretty amazing writers in my class.  I wonder where they get that?  Hmmm... could it be from the teacher who loves writing and models it every day?  Anyway, its like they just came to school ready to work hard because it was a new year.  (Also probably because the boredom of excess  tv watching over the vacation finally probably got to some of them and their brain needed some human stimulation for a change).  So, here I am reflecting on all their progress and evaluating how far I've come since the beginning of the year, with it being a new job and all.  Low and behold, my own evaluation came up today.  I put my emotional shield of armor on and braced myself for what I knew would sound something like...."well, you're an excellent teacher and the parents are very supportive of you...but...".  There is always a "but" at this school.  All my previous PDP plans (which stands for professional development plan) from the last 8 years, which are all in my own portfolio, state that I meet all the competencies and my classroom is a great environment, etc.  I felt like saying, "well, but....kindly kiss my butt",  but I remained positive, diplomatic, and open minded during the evaluation.  As you all know, I'm a very persuasive, not to mention thorough person, particularly when I know how hard I work and I can tell you each and every student's levels, strengths and weaknesses.

I chuckle to myself now, because at the end of the evaluation, I had managed to convince my supervisor to see things my way by falling back on one of my Greek tactics I so often use with my family.  I made her think the improvements I needed to make were her ideas!  My next plan of action for the follow up PDP was actually on my agenda all along, ....but she really liked it when I said, "what if....and could you come to the meeting...and oh, that is a good idea"!  Yes, I'm learning the art of reverse psychology with supervisors who have obviously forgotten what its like to be in a classroom.  Perhaps we should all just agree and accept that this is a learning process, even for a supervisor.

Bottom line is this:  I'm ecstatic with the progress my students are making.  I'm feeling a lot more grounded than I was back in August.  Furthermore, I can't say the school really gave me any kind for formal training on its math or phonics program, yet it was expected of me to just jump in headfirst and do things perfectly.  I have had to just figure it out as I go.  So, with all due respect, you gotta look at that and say, "way to go, as you are flying this airplane with no training and haven't crashed yet but keeping it up in the air, while reading the manual with one hand and occasionally grabbing a bite to eat with the other, while keeping the plane steady somehow".  Best way I can think to describe it.  Well, on that note, I will be making a decision about whether I want to keep flying this plane or land it without crashing, get off and go back to a traditional school.  These will be the decisions I face over the next few months.  Godspeed, as I need to go back to flying now.  Till next time.